neither you nor i
the lack this replaces
like gas
spitting up hope while splitting hairs
could starve on your face
the way it sticks needles in
draining my resolve
too weak to sit up lie
under the
curtains the gas thickens fingers already
deceased the rest twitching about
aimlessly (oh yes!)
never let yourself be rejected
twice by
the same person too humiliating
though attracted to grovelling
like rain to shovel to the impossible
like math to meat
cultivating its opposite
as if all lines converged on a particular face
one drink away from honesty,
terror that i can't control
inertia that had to be
overcome
just to (be) sit(ting) here
which i sometimes get sick of
neither talking nor surgery
each time i reach backwards
there you are:
spitting stones, pick up each
caress before discarding it
knowing i got the best of you
greedy
for your tiny feet
flies without wings
because i was released from prison early?
or the shock of birth
still learning:
how to come clean
how to wake up
how to stand up
how to wash myself
how to fit in
a