Beatrice Brérot


From Sisco to San Fransisco


Translated by Mary E. Mann


and Clara
the United States
until the middle 
of our twenties

Bowery, New York
the street of the unemployed the shoe-shiners the
resellers the beggars the drunks
the street of souls
along the sidewalks
the street
the wandering
and drink
a hearse

stops at a light
yaps a dog 
a funeral wreath

and the exhaust pipe smokes

Bus station, 50th street
There also the angels of misery
alcoholics passers-by travelers
blind people men in black in 
dress coats high hats and deep pockets 
"come up" says the driver
we're leaving
on the long ribbons of highway 
America America
we roll

Badlands, South Dakota
it's chaos
life's energy
and its chaos
life's abuses
and addicts
the dry earth, bruised
she drags her tectonic cracks
and her animal cadavers
Remains of rain
in the cracked beds
the streams and 
run off
sediment between
rocks covered with rags 
It is here
and water 
it is here
the stars
we can touch them
here their remains
here the universe
its beginning 
the beginning of time
the big-bang
and hell
the firmament              ______________

At the Mexican border
under the rising moon
we slept
A lost car
and the desert
we are
in its warm mouth
its drought
its wind

The motor
and lights off
night spreads out 
alone illuminated
animal noises
and the black desert
and fear
and there
we fall asleep
At first light 
I sleep but
as prayers 
rise in chant
the Indian
and upright in the air
the earth vibrates
and upright therein
the air vibrates
and the earth
the instant of the chant
and upright in the air
the earth is red
the  earth is red
and sings
I swelled tensed
I burned my eyes
in the light
I burned in two
my guts
I want to sound them
there was nothing
I sounded my soul
there was this rift 
this void
burns me
and yet I see
a red-skinned warrior
and I hear 
a chant 
and I know 
this warrior dies
and Angel
upright towards a rock 
Angel also
sings and dies
Angel also
sings and dies
and dies
Angel faints
or maybe me
or maybe I don't know
the wind
this void
this void again
burns my eyes
but I hear the wind
coming and going
I hear my skin
the sun on my skin
I hear the earth vibrate
she roasts in the sun
and Clara
I lean against Clara
In a cave
we fuck
and I am flooded with fear
this earthly cavity
of human bones
and animal totems
hollowed into the wall
I vomit
and Angel grasps me 

Are we here ?
Are we here

		he runs
		and the other as well
		on the ice
		they run

or in a dream
In the shadows 
In 8 mm
		they swim
		in the water of the stream 
		they float 
		above the stream 

coming from the earth, the dreams
	of cemeteries, the bodies
the imaginary bodies
	 of blood and flesh

of which we have suffered


My brother, my friend
the turbine in reverse
the universe
return it 
and the earth
My brother, my friend
my angel archangel of death
who hurts so much 
we wipe away
so many, so many failures
and life itself
we steal
from ourselves 
my cock leaks
I wipe the sperm 
my cock leaks
I caress myself
and I leak
and my flesh leaks
my body
and my heat torn out
We swim
we dance 
and float no more
now it is here
and above the streams 
the waters have withdrawn
our dreams die
listen, listen !
the moan tightened in my heart
the earth is hollow
and filled with grief 
listen to it 
dissecting my body 
She straddles me 
like death
She straddles me
like death
my cock leaks
I come 
and in the heather 
my sperm
in the heather 
I turn the matrix 
I turn the universe, the cavity 
and ask myself if
the earth where I stand and walk
the earth is not an egg
the earth my friend my brother 
as a whole is an egg
where in a movement 
the galaxy    ________
and Clara
in the starry dark 
in the sky her pupils
her eye posed 
in my cranium 
and all against
my damp head
there is 
her silvery hair


I was gamete
I was planet
I wandered vagabond drunk broken
I had my feet in my head
I napped 
and in the nap 
was the void 
and in the void
in pieces
drunk vagabond
in contact of the void
the feeling of being born
and my body sweat
misery but pride


In 8 mm
in Hi 8 as well
	he runs
	the cherub
	he runs

in life
	he swims
	in the water of the stream
	he floats
	above the stream

and his translucent laugh
comes from a dream, from the sky
	from our bodies
   from blood and from flesh
which we have suffered from

my eternal friend
was smiling and singing
and drawing from his soul
at its source
and shining, becoming clearer
in its light
from the work of his muscles
his warmth spreading
and Clara trimmed the rose bushes
in the universe flowing
without ever freezing in place
and me
between the greenhouse effect
and the wars
and the wars
and the wars

I create a cancer

and me
in the beauty of the evening
its fragileness
I stink of my kind
I hide in the earth
at dusk
at dawn
long my nights
barely human
while others
never question life
while others
never question life 
I question even the air
I turn the sun upside-down 
I turn upside-down
in a circle under the Earth
in the evening
its slowness
I am humanity which is dying
and I am dying
I am dying anew
as we have several deaths
perhaps even
we are already dead

I neither abandon myself nor free myself
in silence I bend
am I substance
am I light
I live the mystery
the universe 
and the quantum body
life and death
death and life
I know
and yet
I revolt 
with raised fist
binding together my anger
and my pain
and my chains
I want to be a pebble
or some fucking object
a crane
or a bike
wait, why not a good bike
that has torque
with a noise that rumbles
and I straddle the bike
and I hurl myself through the city
as in the void
I straddle the bike
and my body voilà my death
and I die
and I dream that I live
and I dream that I live
and I die

I have only enough time to murmur
my name

Just before my death
Clara could die as well
but she lives
and I hear her cries
Those syllables it's my name
she tells me
Just before my death
I have only enough time to murmur
my name
she says it
she says it
she says it
before giving way 
and walling herself up 
she tells me
so as to refuse
she tells me
so as to erase
she tells me 
so as to return to before
so that I exist 
I am 
she tells me

Just before my death
she doesn't know it yet
but beyond my death
she must
walk along 
the banks 
the streams
the river
Just before my death
she doesn't know it yet
but beyond my death
she must
walk alongside grief
and convince herself
of a flux
a current
a passage in the sweetness 
as just before death, opens up 

at the moment of death 
open up

and like the river
the universe, I sparkle from inside out